Here are some ways which you can kill your internet marketing persona. There’s no manual to download and no reading to engross technical jargon about analytics that makes you wonder if you’re doing your search engine optimization right. Just dig in and market. You’re the expert.
This is meant to be taken lightly with a pinch of salt. Anymore and you might have a heart attack.
1) Litter your blog or website with affiliate products, adsense and sponsored advertisement. Make sure that the heat maps which Google stresses are the hot spots to prying eyes. This will ensure you have enough ample time to make a sell if someone’s hungry enough to click through.
2) Innoculate your followers on twitter with massive amount of links leading them once again to affiliate products and links to your blog posts that have no value to them whatsoever. This makes you look busy and your profile trusting enough that perhaps someone will buy looking at your professional photo.
3) Make videos and talk about how you failed and learned to keep failing but haven’t made a dime but you will succeed because you can taste it. It’s on the tip of our tongue and yet you haven’t made your million yet. Plea your friends for a charity donation.
4) Create an e-mail list of subscribers and spam them with the latest new hot trends and products, insert all your affiliate links to tell your readers to click here and here. Lead them to a sales page where they have to shell out their credit card to buy a $997 product just so you can get a 75% commission cut and that you will promise them a bonus which never comes.
5) Make friends on Facebook and stalk them until you can make a sell. This will ensure that they will leave you alone. If this doesn’t work, try their twitter account. If not, their digg, stumbleupon, etc., etc.
6) Finally, the best killer of them all is to sale something to your user and when they open it up, it’s a book of blank pages. This will be certain that they will complain and e-mail you when you’ve already cashed in and cancelled all tracks which leads back to you.
Doing the above will make certain that your internet marketing career will shoot itself down to the ground.
Did I miss anything else? Share your thoughts below.
Related posts:
